Destruction of Love - A Journey to Freedom

August 2, 2000 was the day I began to spread my wings and fly to freedom.

That Wednesday in August, more than ten years ago, began as a warm, bright day; but the sky clouded over and before noon it began raining. It was as if the weather was reflecting my emotions. From the moment I woke, before I even opened my eyes, I had to break the day into segments, some lasting only minutes, to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Each step was exhausting. My husband’s violence and manipulation had shattered the love I held for him.

After our 23-year relationship I was so beaten down that getting back up seemed impossible. But it was at this low point that I began to feel a new sense of strength. Blake’s abuse had chipped away at my independence and sense of self, but it had also awakened, and then strengthened, my determination to find a better life. He had conditioned me to fear his anger. Nothing would enrage him more than leaving, but staying was impossible.

The only way out was to escape after he had gone to work. Any other way was too dangerous.

5:00 am

Waking up I am alert for sounds of Blake. I hear him in the kitchen getting ready for work but am afraid to open my eyes. My heart feels like it might jump out of my chest; my body begins to shake. Even after I hear him leave I am paralyzed with fear as I wait to hear the front door lock behind him. The door closes, the lock turns. He’s gone. I open my eyes and watch the clock for exactly ten minutes before slowly climbing out of bed. Anxiety rises as I stand, and a surge of panic seems to overwhelm the core of my being, turning my thoughts chaotic. Still, there is an energy, a determination and faith, that pushes me forward and seems to reinforce itself the more I am mindful of it.

This book reflects a personal journey of a woman leaving her abusive relationship in the year of 2000, published in 2012....read the e-book by downloading this PDF file:

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