top of page
Search

RTF WEEK #08 - COMPASSIONATE POSITIVE THOUGHTS

Updated: Oct 24, 2024

 

As you might know by now, your Chatterbox can tend to be a very negative.  Negative thinking could be a habit for most until one begins to pay attention and take steps to reverse the habit. It takes diligent work to break habits.  It is all about choices, do the work to break the habit or let your Chatterbox work toward positivity!

 

What has your negative thinking created in your life thus far?

Do you want to remain stagnate in your life, or do you want to grow and change?

Are you willing to work at creating a new life for yourself?

 

You, and only you, can break free of negative thoughts! You can do anything when you set your mind to get it done.  Believe and you will achieve.

 

If you always do, what you’ve always done, you will always get, what you’ve always got!

 

Stop right now and pay attention to your Chatterbox:

  • what are you hearing?

  • how stupid or silly this is?

  • you will never be able to conquer this?

  • thinking this is of no use to you?

 

IF you are answering yes to any of these questions, beware that your Chatterbox is fighting for it’s life

  • it is full of fear

  • doesn’t want you to believe you can do this

  • doesn’t want you to master the art of positive thinking

  • doesn’t want you to excel in personal growth

 

It can create confusion in your mind.

It can create fear of the inner war birthing inside you

It will get better if you make a commitment to changing your thoughts

  • you can learn to love yourself

  • you can, and will accept yourself for who you are

  • you can learn how to handle your mistakes

  • you can discover how to handle criticism

  • this can help you achieve your goals

  • this can give you confidence to ask for what you need and want

Perhaps you are now realizing how negative thinking has been controlling your life.  The Chatterbox is a life limiting force. It has strangled your happiness and prevented you from discovering your true self.  News flash, there is a way out…let’s begin:

 

The first step into positive thinking is learning the art of compassion. The internet defines compassion as “being aware of suffering with the wish to relieve it”.  You are now aware and with this, can bring the desire for some relief. Your Chatterbox can be relentless in making you suffer because it has a goal to keep you safe in your comfort zone.

 

Learning to be compassionate with yourself can increase your self esteem. You can learn to understand and accept yourself.  You can learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.  You can set reasonable expectations for yourself.  The perfectionist in you might disappear.  This will leave you with the capacity to set attainable goals.

 

Let’s think about your dream you created back in Session #01 and the goals you set in Session #02. Now, today with greater knowledge, you have the tools to achieve your goals. It’s all about helping you believe in yourself.

 

Believe and you can achieve!

 

You can actually begin to love yourself knowing you have worth and value.  A compassionate mind helps you become void of judgement or rejection.  The Chatterbox is constantly judging and rejecting yourself.  Compassion can help you understand, accept and forgive on all levels.

 

Furthermore, the Chatterbox cannot stand compassion

  • compassion is throwing water onto the wildfire of negativity

  • adopt a compassionate attitude and your Chatterbox can’t win

  • compassion for self is difficult

  • the ultimate gift of self worth

  • compassion can be a learned skill

 

The first step to compassion is understanding.  When you “understand” the why of something, it can totally change your feelings and attitude.  For example, let’s consider a person in your life that might be toxic and/or abusive.  When I researched such personalities I actually gained compassion for these people.  They themselves were beaten down and are living their life in fear.  They obviously lived through their own traumas and toxic circumstances to have created such a reaction to life.  Can you just imagine what their Chatterbox is saying to them everyday?  This is not to say their actions are acceptable, but rather simply explains their actions.  You cannot control their actions, you can only control your reactions!

 

Many on their healing journey can reach an “ahha” moment at this point.  A light comes on to realize how they feel so worthless.  They begin to understand why. 

 

Your Chatterbox is connected to your belief system created since childhood.  It is very complicated and just acknowledging this can help you feel better.  You can see how you became who you are today.

 

Time has come to give yourself compassion.  When you know better, you can do better.  You are now aware and paying attention to your thoughts which can help you turn it around.  All your negative thoughts are not your fault.  You have been a victim of circumstances which have made you who you are today and this is a good thing. 

Do you feel it is time to rise?

Is it time to create a new you?

Can you imagine finding a way to feel good everyday?

 

This is your journey, enjoy the ride!

 

The second step to compassion is acceptance. Simply acknowledge the facts, you need not approve or disapprove.  Try to throw judgement out the window and concentrate on the facts.  Don’t judge it as good or bad.

 

Part of self-healing is a willingness to look in the mirror to acknowledge the truth and simply accept what is.  We all have dark sides, and this can make it a difficult step.  You can make up your mind to stop lying to yourself.  If you don’t take this step, how can you change your life?  It is what it is.

 

The third step to compassion is forgiveness.  Once you understand and accept something, it is easier to forgive.  I always find it easier to forgive others, than to forgive myself. 

Forgiving does not mean you approve of others actions

Forgiving does not mean their actions are okay

Forgiving means you don’t  want carry that burden in your mind anymore

  • you want to lighten your load

  • you want to feel better

  • you want to feel positive

  • you want to get the negativity out of your system

History cannot be changed; what is done, is done.  This is where compassion and acceptance steps in:

  • try to understand the reasons

  • try to accept the actions

  • try to learn from it

  • try to forgive yourself

  • mistakes are nothing more than learning what NOT to do next time

  • make each event an opportunity to grow

 

You can become better equipped to handle your future.  When a situation presents itself, you can react differently.  This is one step of changing who we are.  Look at is as wisdom gained, making you a better person. 

 

Let’s think about your negative Chatterbox:

  • the more it screams at you, the harder it is fighting

  • the more it degrades you, the more frightened it is becoming

 

Becoming compassionate can change your life.  Perhaps you already feel better because you can now view the world on a different level.  Knowledge is power. 

 

Compassion is the ability to understand, accept and forgive.  If you can at least “consider” forgiving, you are well on your way to healing.  Give yourself time to jump this hurdle because it does take time.  Your Chatterbox will be looking for ways to stop you in your tracks.  Be aware and don’t let that happen.  Feel the fear and do it anyway. Dedicate yourself to healing.

 

To forgive yourself is key to creating a strong self-worth.  Your self-esteem will begin to rise, you will begin to feel good leading you into finding internal happiness.

 

Here is a suggested exercise to help you discover something in your past that possibly haunts you:

  • think back into your memory looking for something that caused you to feel embarrassed or ashamed

  • a possible mistake you feel you made

    • something that continues to reinforce negativity within you

    • now, take whatever it is and break it down

  • first, understand why you did what you did

    • use the onion effect

    • ask “why”

    • keep asking “why” until you get to the root cause/base situation

  • second, accept it for what it is

    • accept responsibility for your actions regardless of others actions

    • (the topic of Taking Responsibility in a future session)

  • third, forgive yourself

    • no one is perfect

    • you cannot expect perfectionism from yourself, there is no such thing

    • you are a good person

    • it easier to forgive yourself when you accept it as a lesson in life

    • learn the lesson that is presented to you

    • congratulate yourself on learning that lesson

 

If you can look at your mistake, understand why it happened, accept it for what it is, forgive yourself and take it as a lesson YOU have just passed with flying colours

  • knowledge is power

  • doing this exercise and accepting any lesson life has offered is a huge, giant leap into personal growth

  • it is the beginning of taking back your personal power

    • be excited

    • be happy

    • be thankful

 

This may be a difficult exercise to complete but try really hard not to judge yourself.  This is your healing journey and everyone walks at their own pace.  Recognize that self-judgement is your Chatterbox in action.  You are unique, no one has suffered the way you have. Try to be gentle with yourself.  Your desire to heal will continue to give you the strength you need to grow.  There is not right way or wrong way, just your way.  Just work with these tools everyday in an attempt to become the best version of yourself can possibly be. 

 

Personal growth really is a daily process.  You don’t bath just once and remain clean for life.  You can learn to take one step at a time.  One baby step can lead to steps, steps lead to strides and strides lead to your final destination.

 

Take time to consider you were beaten down one day at a time.  Allow yourself the time you need to heal. Be kind to yourself knowing you did the best you could, under the circumstances you lived through.  Life will continue to get better with every step of personal growth.  No one can do this work for you, you have to do for you. 


 

Feel free to review previous WEEKS of ROADMAP TO FREEDOM posts:




Friendly reminder… continue with your Daily Affirmations

 

Experiencing a bad day? 

Review your Dream Life Story.  It can fill you up with much needed faith, hope and determination.  Above all else, never, every, give up…tomorrow is new day that can bring you new possibilities.

 

The Roadmap to Freedom personal growth series is a unique, one-of-a-kind program created by Ali Shilo. All rights reserved. Copyright 2024

 

Questions? 



Comments

bottom of page